Old age home

 Full five years into retirement. Covid has forced a change in lifestyle. Home-bound, sedentary life. The world has changed and how!

Well-meaning relatives are suggesting that I book a flat in a senior living facility. Many of them are coming up now and are quite popular too. "You don't have to move in immediately. Get the flat now. It may be difficult later." I am told. Sound logic and there is also the possibility that after ten years or so, I may not be able to handle property transactions properly.

So I got down from my high horse and paid a visit to one facility. It was a part of a gated community that was coming up over a very large area nestling in the hills. The eleven storey tall towers looked incongruous. Signs of prosperity everywhere. Inhabitants were well-off, educated and cultured people. But my reaction was entirely negative. I just cannot summon enough enthusiasm to go forward even an inch with this proposal.

Why?

My personality. Company of others is largely superfluous now.

Cannot bear the idea of leaving my present house. From acquiring it, furnishing it and habitating it - I have done everything here. The house reflects my personality and I am familiar, comfortable with each inch of its space. How can I leave it? How much time will I take to get acquainted with the new place? Will I breathe easy in it?

I guess I am the type of person who draws comfort from familiar surroundings, set patterns and old things. New things remain alien for a long time. The surroundings of the house are also so familiar. That includes all the landmarks and the people who live here. I am not friends with them but I know they are around. I am in thrall to nature - the rising and setting of Sun and Moon, the large army campus in the front of my flat, the tiny wood at the back, their trees and their seasons, the terrace garden and the time spent each evening just gazing at things - the sky, the breeze, lights from the road and nearby buildings. This is my world. How can I just abandon it?

It would be far better to have a companion here during the day time and may be a cook. They should be available provided they are paid adequately.

And the best would be a peaceful death at the age of 80 or so. No bed-ridden existence, no loss of memory or mind, no dependence on others.

Having played around with life to actualize all my wishes, the only wish now is for a dignified exit.