I refer to 'Kunastav kunitari...' an autobiography (Marathi) of Yashoda Padgaonkar, wife of the famous Marathi poet, Mangesh Padgaonkar. (Rajhans Prakashan, Pune 2000)
Autobiographies of wives of several important men are available in Marathi and without an exception, they are a treasure, an important feature of Marathi literature. All are written straight from the heart, in simple language and they describe the domestic, everyday life of these women, their husbands and families. Most of them do not say anything about the contributions of their husbands and still, they provide an important insight into personal histories in a certain time period.
Years ago, when Marathi annual literature festivals were important occasions, one in Konkan held a seminar in which wives of famous men of letters spoke. It was reported that all the husbands were present in the front row to listen to what was being said about them. That was hilarious and it also showed the independence these women enjoyed. To me, it marked an important characteristic of Marathi middle-class milieu.
One shortcoming of these autobiographies is the disproportionate importance they give to the husbands and the early days before and after marriage. Both are understandable given the man-centric nature of middle-class families of the last century. I hope it has changed now. (Alas! Not many towering literary figures are left in Maharashtra for their wives to take up writing but women have stopped depending on their husbands so much.) Some of the women, defied social conventions to marry their partners and a large part of their writing is devoted to those days of courtship and the hardships. Yashoda Padgaonkar and Vidya Madgulkar give far too much importance to those days. The reader realizes that they are reliving the past with relish but the reader is bored.
Yashoda Padgaonkar was Yashoda Ujagare before marriage and she was born in a Marathi Christian poor family. She lost her father early and her mother worked as a school superintendent. Padgaonkars are Saraswat and the poet was born in a fairly well-to-do family. So Yashoda had to make a lot of adjustments. I will not go in those details. They must be understood from first-hand reading. (BTW, I have a small collection of these autobiographies and I am proud of it. I dip into them any time and get drawn in immediately.)
I will elaborate on only one aspect of this adjustment after marriage which Yashodabai had to make.
Christians are very clean and particular about personal hygiene and appearance. After marriage, Yashoda encountered the scarce and dirty common toilets in the chawls of Mumbai. She found them unbearable and soon she developed a fixation about human waste disposal. She developed piles and suffered. She had surgeries and her health suffered. She describes her travails in great detail. Her fixation did not go away, nor did her health problems. One is not likely to encounter this aspect in other writings. It is nonetheless important.
Yashoda had completed her graduation in Marathi at the time of her marriage. Mangesh Padgaonkar had not. They became acquainted in college. Mangesh Padgaonkar earned nothing, save some occasional translation work, even after his marriage. But Yashoda could not work, her husband was not in favour of the idea! She is bitter about the waste of her education.
She has written about her husband with detachment and has provided a very fair assessment of him.
Going through the book once again yesterday brought the above point home in a striking fashion.
